Madame Biff's political fortunes
I'm personally not gifted with second sight, in fact my first sight isn't that good.
So with a view toward improving the scope of this blog I set out to get some predictions on what will happen at the election. Of course I went to none other than Madame Biff, an aunt for whom I was named. She is of course well known in new age circles and has her own psychic line advertised in the Manukau Courier.
Her house is a million dollar weather board house in Grey Lynn with 2.5 bedrooms.
"You" she said as I arrived at the door. "I was expecting you".
"You had a premonition?"
"No your mother rang."
With a weak cup of tea firmly in hand we sat at the table.
"So you've come to ask about the election?"
"Mum told you?"
"No all the brochures you're holding."
"So what will happen?"
"Which election? September 2005 or Oct 2006?"
With that we got going. I asked her who would win the September 2005 election. "No one," she replied, "except the anarchists."
I told her we don't have any anarchists in Parliament, "The greens" she corrected herself. "And the working for families ads with Maori and Pacific Islanders are working very well for National" she added.
"What will happen Madame Biff?"
"Jim Anderton will win Wigram."
I was getting a little frustrated by this stage,"And?" I asked testily.
"Peter Dunne will win Ohariu Belmont".
I tried a different tack, "Who will Winston go with, Labour or National?"
She supped her tea said it will be difficult but it won't matter as it'll all end in tears when Winston demanded to be the PM after 18 months.
"The polls are looking good for National," I said.
"Yes and they'll do very well, maybe Helen Clark's popularity will decline."
I went for the kill. "So Don Brash will be Prime Minister?"
She held a National Party brochure in her hand, "Ohh these policies look good."
"Yes, but will National be the government?"
"I agree we should be paying for cops not cabs."
"Madame Biff..."
"Treaty of Waitangi all settled!"
"Aunt..."
"No more politically correct rubbish.... and TAX cuts!"
"You won't get a tax cut, you're a pensioner!" I protested as she moved away reading intently.
"It says here I will. Winston Peter's will give me more money as well. Ohhhh this sounds good, no more arrogant government."
And with that she was gone to ring her best friend, Madame Enid, to discuss politics.
I got up and left with some insight but none the wiser.
So with a view toward improving the scope of this blog I set out to get some predictions on what will happen at the election. Of course I went to none other than Madame Biff, an aunt for whom I was named. She is of course well known in new age circles and has her own psychic line advertised in the Manukau Courier.
Her house is a million dollar weather board house in Grey Lynn with 2.5 bedrooms.
"You" she said as I arrived at the door. "I was expecting you".
"You had a premonition?"
"No your mother rang."
With a weak cup of tea firmly in hand we sat at the table.
"So you've come to ask about the election?"
"Mum told you?"
"No all the brochures you're holding."
"So what will happen?"
"Which election? September 2005 or Oct 2006?"
With that we got going. I asked her who would win the September 2005 election. "No one," she replied, "except the anarchists."
I told her we don't have any anarchists in Parliament, "The greens" she corrected herself. "And the working for families ads with Maori and Pacific Islanders are working very well for National" she added.
"What will happen Madame Biff?"
"Jim Anderton will win Wigram."
I was getting a little frustrated by this stage,"And?" I asked testily.
"Peter Dunne will win Ohariu Belmont".
I tried a different tack, "Who will Winston go with, Labour or National?"
She supped her tea said it will be difficult but it won't matter as it'll all end in tears when Winston demanded to be the PM after 18 months.
"The polls are looking good for National," I said.
"Yes and they'll do very well, maybe Helen Clark's popularity will decline."
I went for the kill. "So Don Brash will be Prime Minister?"
She held a National Party brochure in her hand, "Ohh these policies look good."
"Yes, but will National be the government?"
"I agree we should be paying for cops not cabs."
"Madame Biff..."
"Treaty of Waitangi all settled!"
"Aunt..."
"No more politically correct rubbish.... and TAX cuts!"
"You won't get a tax cut, you're a pensioner!" I protested as she moved away reading intently.
"It says here I will. Winston Peter's will give me more money as well. Ohhhh this sounds good, no more arrogant government."
And with that she was gone to ring her best friend, Madame Enid, to discuss politics.
I got up and left with some insight but none the wiser.
posted by Sam NZed | 12:15 pm
2 Comments:
Have you given up on this blog?
Thanks for sharing what interests you. New Zealand is my favorite topic. Check out http://happythoughtlifestyles.com to learn more about this intriguing part of the world. I trust you will enjoy New Zealand as much as I do.
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